Lonely Welders Show
🔥✝️ TONIGHT ONLY – THE REVIVAL OF YOUR SINS – CASH ONLY 💋🍷
💲77 — The Quick Baptism: Down fast, come up gasping.
💲177 — The Full Gospel: I’ll lay hands where the Good Book never said.
💲777 — Salvation Deluxe: You’ll see the light, hear the choir, and still wake up in hell.
📍 Tent of Temptation – Room 3B, Behind the Neon Cross
Step right in, brothers and sisters! The choir moans, the collection plate rattles, and the preacher’s pants are already on the floor.
💨 Smells like communion wine, incense, and desperation.
🙏 On your knees, eyes closed — say it with me: “Oh God… oh God… oh GOD.”
⚠️ No judgment here… until Judgment Day.
🔧 Condition: Faithless but fully functional.
➕ Add-ons: Holy water shots, dirty psalms whispered in your ear, blessed lube, and a note for your pastor.
📖 BYOB – Bring Your Own Bible… I’ll sign it.
👕 Printed on Comfort Colors 1717 — blessed in filth, sanctified in softness.
